I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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