we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize