It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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