I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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