smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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