Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
