she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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