OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
