I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
