I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
