When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
