you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize