I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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