she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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