If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
