i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize