I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
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