ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
