Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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