i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
