That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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