Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
