How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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