I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
