if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
