Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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