Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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