gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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