where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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