why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
