am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I think my vagina is haunted
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
