Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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