dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
