we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
