I skipped work to stalk him.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
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Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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