Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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