Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk is not a location!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
