I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize