You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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