In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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