No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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