We're like a lot better than the average bears
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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