i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
