Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
