A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
