thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize