I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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