Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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