I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
