bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I met the friendliest cop last night
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
