This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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