Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
