Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
