I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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