Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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