i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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