u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
