why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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