it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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