when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just sucked dick on a ferry
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
