Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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