David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
