we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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