I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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