Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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